Mixed results..

"Teachers and Education Department officials said that 100 percent attendance on the first day meant that no child marriage was performed in the village that year." What a small and yet huge step for the young girls of the village Vadavathur Panchayat of Jambumadai. Granted, there are still child marriages taking place, but it is obvious that the focus is changing to the importance of higher education for both younger boys and girls. There has been a hot line installed for people to call about child marriages, and school and law officials have been stepping in when necessary. As schools offer higher education and classes beyond class VIII, there will be a higher focus placed on education which, hopefully will only in turn decrease the number of child marriages. Hopefully the "upgradation" of schools will force parents to realize that children could be studying, not marrying.
(http://www.thehindu.com/news/states/tamil-nadu/article3484325.ece)


In honesty, what does this mean for young children in these rural villages? Does it mean that if your school is not upgrading or if the school is too far to travel, that you will be forced to marry? Does it mean that if you do not call into the hot line or if no one in your family is willing to approach the officials, your marriage will go overlooked? Does it mean that if your father forces this on you and you have absolutely no say, that you will not be able to study instead of marry? I am not sure what it means. I think that for this village, these steps are very good steps. The focus on education is not only good for the decrease in child marriage but also the increase in mortality rates, decrease in poverty, and increase standard of living. Education has a lot of positive impacts on a person/village/state/country/nation/world.


In other news around the world, like in Niger, young girls are still being subjected to child marriage but because of the lack of food. Because of the tragic and epic food shortage going on in Niger currently, girls are being sold for livestock and food. To the families who are choosing this drastic method they say the have no choice; they are not happy to sell their daughters, but there is just not any other choice. Fortunately for Fatima Ismaghail, 13, was traded for 20 goats was rescued from the arranged marriage by a local judge.The young girl was sold to her cousin by her father without any say-so whatsoever, and even the young girl's mother said she was helpless in the 'transaction.' The young girl said that she was happy of being out of the arrangement and hopes to get married on her own terms when the time is right.
(http://gulfnews.com/news/world/other-world/as-niger-starves-father-sells-daughter-for-20-goats-1.1032240)


But in Niger, where the food shortage is not helping the decrease in child marriage, what do you honestly expect a family to do? Granted, I never want to think of a young girl in terms of livestock or food rations, but if your family is starving...what would you do? I do not want to point the finger or pass judgment on this family, or the others who have traded their daughters for food. I wish that the rest of the world would step up and help Niger, and other countries who are suffering from the food shortage, so that their youth can live a life where they are not bringing more youth into an already starving country. The youth in Niger deserve the same kind of treatment mentioned in the article above - an increase in focus on education - but hell it is hard to say lets increase the education focus when most of their population just want to live to tomorrow without starving.


So as it is very visible, the state of child marriage differs all around the world. There are definite progressive steps in certain areas, where some countries are being held back from being a s productive because of their own issues. Regardless, it is great to see a focus on education for all and the importance of children being children.

...And they begin to speak up.

I don't know about you, but I love to see when any person stands up for their own beliefs/thoughts/feelings.  It takes courage to go against the grain, and to make people listen to you - especially when that person is 12, and a woman.  In case you are wondering, I am talking about a young girl, Rekha Kalindi, who stood up against her parents and refused to be married off at the age of 12.  She lives in a small rural area in India, that is beyond poor.  In India, more than half of the females get married before the legal age of 18, which has been set in law for almost thirty years now. Rekha merely stood up to her father, and expressed her WANT to stay in school and not get married, and since then no young women have been married in the surrounding villages.  Rehka understood the negative side effects of being a child bride because of witnessing her sister, who was married off at 11, go through troubles, such as having four children who all died within one year of birth and is illiterate to this day.

Rehka had stopped going to school because of financial issues within her family, but had a second opportunity to attend school through a government program.  Because of her witnessing her sister's pitfalls and because she was inspired to learn, she wished to uphold the law and not be married off, at least before the legal age.  She is also able to teach the village about other issues, by a sponsored program through UNICEF, known as Child Activist Initiative.  Rehka has been given a second chance, and by standing up to her parents she has given other young girls a second chance too.

The story of Rehka is quite moving.  This young girl branched out to her teachers, friends, and even government officials.  She is even actually getting the President of India to listen to this issue; to consider what the negative effects of child brides could be.  I like the quote by a UNICEF spokesperson, Sarah Crowe: "It's terrific how you get that ripple effect of one being brave, sticking out her neck out...and then others following."  Now her decision to stay in school is supported by her parents, but at first Rehka was all alone.  Luckily now, Rehka has a whole community supporting her courage and her ideas.

I like stories like this one, because it is so rare.  Stories like this is what it will take to change people's feelings about child brides.  There has to be strong young women, a focus on education for both girls and boys, a strong community upholding the law, and supportive family and friends.  All of the efforts needed to halt child brides must begin at the local level - which Rehka's case clearly supports.


In case you were unaware, which I am assuming you are, South Asia has the highest rate of child brides; in India, 44.5% who recently reached the age of 20-24 had been married by the time they were 18, of these 22.6% had been before 16, and 2.6% before 13.


Rehka's story can be found at this website:
http://www.csmonitor.com/World/Asia-South-Central/2009/0424/p06s07-wosc.html

Take a picture.

This picture is beyond disgusting...I am sure most of those girls think that they are just playing dress up.  Should their childhood be taken away at such a young age, without ANY say in the matter?

I find this picture is just rather interesting,  It is hard to read the opinions/feelings/expressions of both parties.  It is obvious, neither look very happy about their situation.

This picture breaks my heart.  This girl was a surprise marriage that took place in a remote village, I want to say, in Yemen.  She is roughly 5 years old, and she was wed at the same time of one of her cousins.

This picture is one of the most striking.  It is clear the man is old enough to at least be her father, maybe grandfather.  The girl is obviously joking and kidding around - I don't know, acting like a young girl and having fun!

This is a very depressing picture for me.  The way the men stand behind the women and sort of looking over them show their power over the young women.  Also, none of the parties look overly happy either.

Here are just a few pictures of some child brides.  A simple Google search, but nonetheless effective way to see some of the age differences, and maturity levels, of the brides and grooms.

Give me a girl of 8, and I can give you a guarantee of a good marriage

Think back to age 8...what were you doing?  What were your hopes or dreams or desires?  What was something important to you then?  Did you ever consider getting married to a man as old as your father, that you did not know?  Could you have imagined being beat and forced into sexual intercourse with this man?  This might not have been your reality when you were 8, 9, or 10, but it is reality for many girls around the globe.  I recently read about two brave young girls who escaped their marriage in Yemen - one running to the courthouse asking for a divorce and the other running to a hospital - both within a month of one another.  In Yemen, it is a common practice for young girls to be married off - usually around the ages of 12 or 13.  What is even more interesting is that in 1992, the minimum age for marriage was set to 15, but later ruled by Parliament in 1998 that girls could be married off earlier but could not move in with their husband until they reach sexual maturity.  Typically, these child marriages happen because of some kind of financial need or poverty feed this behavior.  But it is also done out of fear of the parents for their daughter being kidnapped and forcibly married or just from cultural pressure.


This article expresses how just two similar stories can affect a movement and can show the importance of fixing an issue.  These two girls, both under the legal marrying age, show how negatively forcing young children to get married.  These girls were not ready to be wives, they did not know the first thing about carrying a child or raising her/him, nor were they mentally ready to grow up so quickly.  These young girls were raped, beat, forced to drop out of school, and, in other cases of child marriages, are ostracized from their family because they want a divorce.  Child brides, not only in Yemen, create a cyclical relationship between poverty and the marriages - poverty encourages child brides and child brides creates poverty (by lack of education and health issues).  Commonly, child marriages, and in turn children having children, cause women to be illiterate and health issues for both the young woman and the children.  Either way, the cycle of child brides is negative, and in the end does not help anyone.


It is important to consider whether I am saying to stop child brides because it is an issue of trying to change culture or if it is an issue of increasing the betterment of society.  I write this blog, and I read articles of young women who have their lives stolen from them, typically to repay the debts that their parents created.  I want to help the young women who are forced to marry older men who beat them and rape them.  But most importantly I want to end the cycle.  By educating people of the other effects of child marriage and stopping the cycle, the whole economy of the country, and the world, would benefit.  Stopping the cycle would lessen poverty, increase education, increase equality, and most importantly make life healthier and better.  So think about your life when you were 8 or 9 or 10...were you concerned or even considering being married off because your parents had financial troubles?  If not, make sure no one else will have to think about it either.


http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/29/world/middleeast/29marriage.html?_r=2&pagewanted=all 

Do you know Amina Filali?

Did you know Amina Filali?  I know I didn't.  Her husband didn't either.  We will never be able to meet Amina Filali because she committed suicide.  She took her own life because she was already living in hell.  She was repeatedly beat by her husband.  She was counseled by her mother to be patient; I guess the best motherly advice was just to wait it out.  Wait out the beatings.  Because the Quran and Shari'a Law strongly encourages couples to work out their differences, and let divorce be the last option.  I am sure you are wondering why I am telling you the story of Amina Filali on my blog about child brides.  Well she was a child bride.  Amina Filali was raped on the streets of the town at the age of 15....by her husband.  She was ashamed of what had happened, and kept it from her parents, but once she did tell, she was urged to marry the man.  According to an article I found on HuffingtonPost.com, in Morroco the burden of proof [in regards to rape] lays on the victim, otherwise she may face debauchery.  Also, in many parts of the Middle East, the rapist can escape prosecution by marrying the victim - which is exactly what Amina Filali's husband did.  After being raped and telling her parents what happened, she went to the court.  The court urged her to marry (it had to be agreed by the victim and both families); the husband originally declined but when told he would face up to 20 years in prison, he agreed to marry Amina.  Amina then was married to the man who disgraced her, who used her, who violated her, and who dishonored her.  But in the act of "honor" he married Amina.  Amina faced violence in her marriage, but stuck with it, using her mother's advice of patience.  After a year, Amina took her own life.  Amina decided that no life was better than the life she was "living."
This cannot be acceptable.  This type of "justice" is not only visible in Muslim societies, but there is a verse that encourages very similar behavior in the Old Testament's Book of Deuteronomy.  So thinking back to the first blog I wrote on this page about changing tradition and if it was possible; is it?  I don't think in the US, which claims to be a fairly Christian society, this type of behavior is seen very often or if at all.  So, why can our tradition change but other's cannot.  Amina Filali deserved a life of happiness; a life where she chose her husband and when she had sex.  Amina Filali did not gain back her honor by marrying the man who shamed her; who took away her rights, her voice and her choice.  This type of behavior should not happen.  Amina Filali was a young woman who had her whole life in front of her, and yet she died because no one was willing to stand up for her rights.  That will not happen on my accord.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oT2aDC4HRQg
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/14/amina-filali-morocco-rape_n_1345171.html#s785972 

it's a grassroots kind of thing.

Have you heard of the BRAC?  Do not be disappointed if you haven't,  I know I  hadn't heard of it until today.  BRAC is a Citizen Action Group headquartered in Bangladesh.  It comprises of women who have bared witness to the injustice of child marriages - either having one themself or knowing someone close who has.  There main goal is to alleviate poverty in the communities in Bangladesh, and elsewhere, but they do focus some on child marriage.  As I have learned through research, child marriage and poverty are closely connected because the common reason for child marriage is for the family to receive a dowry and pay off any debts  and what not.  So typically the more poor the family, the more likely the daughters will be victims to arranged child marriages.  But BRAC gives the women in these heavily impacted areas a voice, and a strength that they haven't had before.  BRAC works with these women to let them know that they can stand up if they feel oppressed or being victimized.

These grassroots organizations are a perfect way to combat traditions that must end.  These women approach men that they have grew up next to, that have once had a crush on, that might have been their father's best friend - they approach these men to let them know of the injustice that they are causing.  They approach these men with a plea to forget this tradition that is only causing more poverty, more illiteracy, more child mortality.  The women that make up this organization mobilize women in their community because they know one another; they know each other's stories; they know the traditions better than anyone else.  They see the effects of the traditions just as those being victimized see them.  BRAC, and organizations that form within small communities, are the most effective, but tend to need the most help.  They need support that they can't receive from their community - but they have the voice.

Even though BRAC is organizing to stop child marriages, 68% of women in Bangladesh get married before the age of 18.  Studies/education stop once a woman gets married - no matter the age.  Things in Bangladesh are changing, people are listening, and girls are finishing their education.  Here is what BRAC has done for Bangladesh: present in 69421 villages, created 11830 Citizen Action Groups to solve issues in their communities, trained 3000 Justice Educators to teach on domestic violence and gender discrimination, trained 5519 barefoot lawyers who teach Human Rights and Legal Education classes, graduated 3.4 million women from those classes, sent 19424 cases to court, resolved 65214 cases through Alternative Dispute Resolution, and their Popular Theatre groups have performed 119,321.  Keep in mind, that is just touching those in Bangladesh.  Groups like this could affect millions of women with this kind of grassroots organizing.  This is amazing.

http://brac.net/courageintheheart/
http://www.brac.net/

Just a flogging, no big deal.

The article that I read is a little old, but none the less prevalent.  This specific case study happened in early 2010 in Afghanistan.  There were two young girls (and I say girls because they were in their early teens) who managed to run away, dressed as boys, from their husbands.  These girls had been married away to two much older men, and after refusing to consummate their marriages and being beat repeatedly, the two escaped.  They were found during a checkpoint, and the cops actually sent them back to their families/husbands.  The two girls told their story, and instead of the cops sending them to a nearby Women's Shelter, they sent the two back to the reason they were running.

There are a few things in this article that disturbs me.  First off, according to a Unicef study from 2000-2008, the brides in 43% of Afghan marriages were under 18.  Funny thing is, the Afghan Constitution states no girl under 16 is to be married - but tradition says that once a girl reaches puberty she is able to be married away.  So, just so you understand what I am saying, almost half of all marriages in Afghanistan involve a bride under 18.  It is against the LAW for a girl under 16 to be married.  And yet, here is a case where two girls, 13 and 14, are flogged because they ran from their beating husbands.  THEY SHOULDN'T EVEN BE MARRIED, LET ALONE BEING PUNISHED FOR LEAVING!  Oh but wait, hey, flogging is illegal too.  These two girls were publicly flogged, each receiving about 40 lashings.

Why is this important?  Because innocent young girls are being publicly beat for a crime that they didn't commit - it should be, if anyone, their parents out their being beat, or their "husband".  There is no excuse for this kind of behavior, none whatsoever.  One of the investigators on this case was just as shocked saying that this act was inhuman, and anti-Islam.  But if that is true, there is no religious backing, and it is against the law - why are these people who performed the acts not being charged or penalized.  Oh I will tell you why, "the district was too insecure to send police there."  Lovely.  I am sure the women of this district feel real safe.

This isn't the only case where a young girl has been married to a much older man.  This isn't the only case where she has suffered extreme abuse, and tried to run.  This isn't the only case where SHE was publicly humiliated for being strong and trying to leave.  There are many times this has happened.  You could say young women being married off, beaten, trying to run, and being publicly humiliated/tortured, is tradition.  But should this tradition continue - even now when it is against the law, written in the country's Constitution.  Who will stand up and protect these women when their families are the one's selling them and it is even too insecure for the police?  Some women can get to the Women Shelters, like Women for Afghan Women Shelter, but some cannot get past the police who will send them back to their family/husband.  It is beyond a vicious cycle for young women in the communities where this is normal practice.  No child, boy or girl, should ever have to face this kind of abuse, especially when there are laws supposed to be protecting them.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/31/world/asia/31flogging.html?pagewanted=2&_r=3